You just never know what will happen. While it’s unlikely you’ll go full psycho and have a pile of bodies rotting on your front lawn, you may have the need to bury an elderly loved one . . . or worse, a younger loved one.

Emotionally, with no support from the outside world, this could be the most difficult thing you could ever imagine doing.

Reeling from a close loss, you’ll have an ethical and safety duty to bury your dead in a quick manner.

How do you prepare? First think of your location. Cremation will be out if you live in an urban area or a small lot. That means you’ll have to scout out a suitable location that will give you the time and decency to properly bury your loved one (or the guy who decided to try and harm your family).

You will want to pick an elevated location without many roots or trees. You should stay away from streams and bodies of water. If you have some plastic from a painting drop cloth, this will help.

If you live in alligator heavy locations and want the body to disappear, then drop it in a marsh with a bunch of marsh mellows. The gators will do the trick for you.

Be careful of using Apple’s Siri and asking her, “Siri, how do you bury a body?” A Florida man had the question used against him in a murder trial.


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