Duck Penis Researcher Now Studying Whale Penises with Taxpayer Funds

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He's gonna need to get closer.

Patricia Brennan, a leading researcher and visiting lecturer at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts, who was previously working on a ridiculed taxpayer-funded study on duck penises, is now using her experience to study orca whales. She is also going to the “March for Science” to oppose the proposed budget cuts.

Brennan was previously working on a duck penis study that received $384,949, in a grant funded through the 2009 stimulus package, from the National Science Foundation. The research studied the differences in the various corkscrew-shaped duck penises.

In a recent interview with New England Public Radio, it was revealed that the researcher is still amused by genitalia of marine animals. An orca that was just sent from Sea World to her lab is her latest fascination.

“Holy cow,” Brennan said when she first saw the penis. “Oh wow. Oh my goodness. It’s enormous!”

“Although Brennan has spent 20 years studying the sex organs of marine animals, she’s never seen anything this big,” New England Public Radio reported. “It takes up an entire lab sink.”

“So this is the tip right there,” Brennan said. “It’s not super long, it’s just wide.”

Protesting proposed budget cuts to her frivolous research, Brennan is on a mission to oppose the Trump administration and Congress’ plans.

Even though she is attending the “March for Science” this weekend, what “she’d really like to do, is get back to the lab and take another look at that killer whale penis.”

According to New England Public Radio, “the stakes for science have never been higher,” as President Donald Trump calls for budget cuts in the face of a $20 trillion debt.

Trump’s budget proposal, if approved, would give $25.9 billion to the National Institutes of Health. While the National Science Foundation currently receives almost $7 billion annually, it wasn’t mentioned in the latest budget proposal.

Since taxpayers discovered the cost of Brennan’s duck penis research, she has become quite a “sought-after science activist.” She has since been advocating scientists to help defend her research.

“They were attacking everything,” Brennan said, referring to media outlets that reported the cost her research incurred. “They were attacking the science itself, like, ‘what a waste of money.’ They were attacking me, as a person, like, I must be some kind of deviant to be looking at penises.

“Like, who does that?” she asked.

Explaining Brennan’s work, New England Public Radio said that she is just a “basic scientist,” suggesting that her job is to only determine how things work. According to them, she is not “necessarily applying that knowledge to a particular problem.”

There is no objective behind her new research on penises of orca whales. “Just the fact that we just don’t know what we’re going to find is so exciting,” she said.

“In order for us to actually be able to solve problems, or make money, or innovate, we actually need to know … about how the world works,” Brennan said.