Sunday, June 25, 2017


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Feminists are up in arms–over the romantic entanglements of a puppet.

Kermit the Frog, one of the most famous puppets in the world, has a new lady love–a pig puppet named Denise.

Last month, it was announced that Kermit the Frog and his longtime girlfriend, Miss Piggy, had split up. As the two Muppets gear up for a primetime show on ABC this fall–The Muppets–Kermit has announced he’s been dating a new pig puppet, named Denise.

Problem is, for feminists: Denise is apparently a younger, thinner pig than Miss Piggy. And, to them, that’s emblematic of everything they love to hate about the so-called “male privilege” of 2015.

At least, that’s how Megan Carpentier, a columnist with The Guardian, sees about this romance.

“Well, apparently Kermit can’t get enough of women like his ex – as long as they’re younger and thinner than her and less successful than him (but still work at ABC, so he can rub her in Miss Piggy’s face),” Carpentier ranted, presumably unfazed by the fact that she’s getting this worked up about a TV romance between puppets.

“While the audience of the 1980s might’ve been filled with the fear of powerful women and willing to sympathise with the “plight” of the lesser men who loved them… the situation has changed in 2015,” she said.

“Nowadays, Miss Piggy is a beloved feminist icon… and Kermit’s the behind-the-scenes wet noodle still whining about how hard it is to be green while picking up goodness knows how many of Hollywood’s near-infinite star-chasers.”

Carpentier went on to compare Kermit to Hollywood star Ben Affleck, who is divorcing by his wife of ten years, actress Jennifer Garner, after he allegedly had an affair with the couple’s nanny.

Except Kermit the Frog isn’t a person–he’s a fictional character (and a puppet.)

If feminists are getting this worked up over the alleged misogynistic tendencies of a piece of felt–does that mean they’ve officially jumped the shark?

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Activists attending a feminist conference in England have been instructed not to clap their hands at the event because clapping can trigger “anxiety attacks” in some participants. The recommended solution is use “jazz hands” instead.

The National Union of Students (NUS) Women’s Campaign announced the clapping “ban” at the West Midlands conference on Tuesday shortly after receiving a request from the Oxford University Women’s Campaign to end the practice.

Within minutes of posting a Tweet to that effect, NUS tweeted back: “Some delegates are requesting that we move to jazz hands rather than clapping, as it’s triggering anxiety. Please be mindful! #nuswomen15.”

Some mocked the tweet exchange arguing that deferring to “jazz hands” rather than clapping is an example of political correctness run amok. Some conference delegates told correspondents with the British Broadcasting System (BBC) Newsbeat program that “jazz hands” are “a nice way to show solidarity.”

Nona Buckley-Irvine, general secretary at the London School of Economics Students’ Union said that:

“Jazz hands are used throughout NUS in place of clapping as a way to show appreciation of someone’s point without interrupting or causing disturbance, as it can create anxiety.”

“I’m relatively new to this and it did feel odd at first, but once you’ve used jazz hands a couple of times it becomes a genuinely nice way to show solidarity with a point and it do add to creating a more inclusive atmosphere.”

The politically correct drumbeat among conference organizers continued with a similar missive against “whooping”. “Whooping is fun for some, but can be super inaccessible for others, so please try not to whoop!”


Guarding Republicans

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